Getting mature?

Why on earth is this happening to me? Everything happens for a reason, doesn't it? Why can't I able to figure out just some part of the reasons? This is driving me really crazy...
One told me that maturity is all about making decisions. Am I decisive? I only know that I'm a person sacrificial. But this personality hurts my family. They feel painful to see me as such person. What can I do, Mom? I'm born to be this way. You are the person I love most. But I'm already making you suffer. I'm really sorry.