Hard time

These days are like hell. I'm very stressful, hurt, tired in both emotionally and physically. I was really tired after the consequent interviews for my career transit. My hope was lit up at that time. Hoping so hard that one of the company might want me. Some of the interviewers even convinced me about that. Am a I a fool? It's been a week! I've not received any call or email. Hope differed makes the heart sick for sure. Damn!

To make matters worse, my best friend quarreled with me, very seriously. "Why?", asked myself. We've known each other for eight years and it shouldn't be happening. I know that we are country apart and it causes us to lose faith each other. The problem started from me. I forgot to call her. I have very short term memory, it's a side note. That morning, I was having a presentation to directors and juniors. I was really nervous. I spent
whole day to rehearse and it slipped through my mind. After a long day, I was playing game and waiting for her to be online so that we can chat through Skype. Well, she was angry. She told me she was like a fool waiting for my call. I apologized, it's all my fault anyway. But she kept saying she was like a fool and refused to talk to me. It was mid night at that time and my eyes' lids weighted a ton. I was tired after all.

The sleepier I am, the angrier I will be. So, the tone of my words had anger which she was aware. Then she called me. Too bad that my mind was blank from being too angry. I dun remember what I told her. I'm sure they weren't any good. The first thing I learnt that there is a need for me to apologize her. I did that and she said "it's fine". I had appointment with my high school classmates and so I dun really care much and had fun. The problem was still lingering at the back of my head. But I told myself that it was over. She told me she was fine.

No, it was not. The next day when I saw her online and she told me she was afraid of me. Well, it was what-the-hell effect. I thought it was all over but it started again. We discussed so and so and I was angry again. I cried, punched the floor and shouted like a crazy. Please, give me a break. That weekend supposed to be a break for me. We both hurt, tired. We lost our mutual understanding. The problem was really over when she called me happily at night. I kept silent frequently and afraid that I would say something bad again. I dunno... I was really confused. I'm still hurt. I'm still afraid to talk to her. Perhaps we both were having hard time and just blew each other. Hopefully, we will patch up soon.

Please, give me some good luck.