Such a big change in life

I've been working at Senoko for 10 weeks. There were good days and as well doom days. I enjoy exploring and as well stressed. Woking at site surely not a thing for a girl. I dun feel anything wrong. Strange enough not to feel afraid too. I exposed too much that I saw different kinds of people, playing politics, slacking, cheating and even lied thru their teeth. 20 Oct. I'll never forget. I said something bluntly to superior and 'boom' I got backfire. 21 Oct, I cried for hours and I made a man shed tear too. What a day! Such a change! I promise, if I have time, I'll share my stories here. Miss you, blogger.

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Hard time

These days are like hell. I'm very stressful, hurt, tired in both emotionally and physically. I was really tired after the consequent interviews for my career transit. My hope was lit up at that time. Hoping so hard that one of the company might want me. Some of the interviewers even convinced me about that. Am a I a fool? It's been a week! I've not received any call or email. Hope differed makes the heart sick for sure. Damn!

To make matters worse, my best friend quarreled with me, very seriously. "Why?", asked myself. We've known each other for eight years and it shouldn't be happening. I know that we are country apart and it causes us to lose faith each other. The problem started from me. I forgot to call her. I have very short term memory, it's a side note. That morning, I was having a presentation to directors and juniors. I was really nervous. I spent
whole day to rehearse and it slipped through my mind. After a long day, I was playing game and waiting for her to be online so that we can chat through Skype. Well, she was angry. She told me she was like a fool waiting for my call. I apologized, it's all my fault anyway. But she kept saying she was like a fool and refused to talk to me. It was mid night at that time and my eyes' lids weighted a ton. I was tired after all.

The sleepier I am, the angrier I will be. So, the tone of my words had anger which she was aware. Then she called me. Too bad that my mind was blank from being too angry. I dun remember what I told her. I'm sure they weren't any good. The first thing I learnt that there is a need for me to apologize her. I did that and she said "it's fine". I had appointment with my high school classmates and so I dun really care much and had fun. The problem was still lingering at the back of my head. But I told myself that it was over. She told me she was fine.

No, it was not. The next day when I saw her online and she told me she was afraid of me. Well, it was what-the-hell effect. I thought it was all over but it started again. We discussed so and so and I was angry again. I cried, punched the floor and shouted like a crazy. Please, give me a break. That weekend supposed to be a break for me. We both hurt, tired. We lost our mutual understanding. The problem was really over when she called me happily at night. I kept silent frequently and afraid that I would say something bad again. I dunno... I was really confused. I'm still hurt. I'm still afraid to talk to her. Perhaps we both were having hard time and just blew each other. Hopefully, we will patch up soon.

Please, give me some good luck.

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Bygones be bygones

It's been long time I last blogged. I was busy emailing to my BFF. My daily report will be more accurate. Not like others, we don't know each other. We titled BFF first then we start to explore each other. Well... funny, huh. Anyway, I love her as much as she loves me. Dun get us wrong, we ain't les.
There were too much talk during lunch. I am always listener. The thing is I always have to rush them back to work. Gosh~ being a villian during lunch time. It can't be help. I dun wanna take advantage.
I made a small matter to big fuss yesterday. I still couldn't forgive myself for that. May all bad luck be gone soon.

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For my good sake

Back from home. But missing home already. Having said that time is limited. But I've done lots. No regrets. I was happy to be home and heart breaking to leave. Gosh... I've made a promise to myself for this time... I will settle down in Myanmar no matter what. I'll work harder from today onwards for the day my love ones can be together. I love to be home...

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Home sweet home2011

I'm going back home anytime soon. I'm very excited about that. But some of troubles awaiting me too. I need to focus and not let myself free. I gotta be focus in what I'm doing. But I'll be frank that I'm looking forward to be home. There are so many thing I want to do. The time is limited you see. So, I gotta be done within these days. I can do it. Since it is a bit late, I can't write so long. I'm so going to bed. *yawn

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Hobby?

I’ve tried different field before. But I can’t just do well in one particular field. When I was young, I wanted to be a police. In a sense of holding pistol is cool. But I’m afraid of dark and G thing, how am I gonna scout at night If I became one. 6( -_- ;) Then I went for painting or drawing. I can draw male and non-living objects but not female. The female figure is just too difficult for me to draw. If I were to copy, not trace, I can do better. Drawing human is really difficult for me. Cos I can’t control body ratio and it will come out a bit weird, motion is even worse. Alright, I can’t draw well even though I’ve tried to create a graphic novel. I have only half-way done. I already have the ending in my mind but just can’t draw that out nicely. So, forget about being artistic. When I was 14, I’ve tried piano or should I say keyboard. I learnt how to read musical note. I learn fast and forget fast. I wanted to try guitar for long time but afraid my fingers will get hard. If I had elder brother, I might know how to play. I wanted to go for violin as well. But hell no, I gotta forget about it. Being a musician, I can forget about it too. So, how about singing? Arh… yeah, I can sing but not well. During school time, I’m the loudest in the class for morning national anthem. Erm.. how about acting? Haha… make me laugh. When I was in 8th grade, 13 years old, I was involved in role play. I was to act as a mother. But during rehearsal, I couldn’t stop myself laughing like crazy. I felt too mushy to call someone my age “son”. Then I was disqualified and got cursed too. The reason was that the main female character had my role. She was angry about that. But eventually, she became happy cos male character has to take care of her during the play. She even had crush on him.  O.o Anyway, school time was fun and I can’t act. So, forget about being performer. Dance? Big no no for sure. I’ve never… eh… once… during kindergarten. I danced traditionally I guess. My parent didn’t take video, so I’m not sure about it. I was quite feminine at that time. Since I was first grade, I changed. Dun ask me why, I dunno. I can remember things from 1st grade but not before that. Hmmm… let’s see whatelse. Ah, ya…. Sporty. Hmm… I’m not a sporty person. If not I won’t be getting this figure. I can run even faster than some skinny girl. Play badminton and swimming. Tried basketball, soccer and ping pong. Hehe`… I’m not a sportsman. AH… this reminds me of losing a few grams around my waist. Gosh, I have to do it. I need to pick up jogging again.
With failing above all, I think I can write. My essay skill was not so bad. Erm… I’m referring to Myanmar language essay. For English, I still have to improve myself. I’m not good with vocabulary. I have to read more books. I’ve tried novel or script before. But I’ve done well one. I’m pleased with it. I have thought to publish in web but I’m too lazy to type. I prefer to write down on papers. I started another good story but no time to continue now. And I lack of some material. I pick up writing skill by reading. I like to read. Different genres. Among them, I like mystery most. I can’t deny that I dun like romance. I do. And the book I’ve done is romance. I can’t write mystery even though I’ve read lots of mystery books. I’ve no confidence to write that. I’m not qualified for sure. I can only write romance or slice of life cos this is only thing that I can feel. See, you can create whatever you want, play with characters. This is actually fun. I like that feeling. This is my world. I’m god of that world. I can commend anything. Woot… sounds cool. But I’m far way from good author. My plot might not be good enough. But anyway, I’m satisfied. I will pick up English sooner or later which may improve my English. Should I swallow dictionary to improve my vocab skill? Haha… afraid not. I gotta read more and more to improve grammar and vocabs.

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Farewell (^_^)/

I just had a farewell party organised by me and two other colleagues. The party ended great. We have a "Good Luck" wishes to soon-going-to-be-ex-colleagues. Alright, writing wishes is my idea. I thought of that cos its within budget too. He was so great when he was student and staff. He really is a serious person who would do everything seriously. Even his GPA is perfect 4. God, I'm really worship him and envy. I couldn't do that. Hmmm.. there's no point looking back. Just picked up from this party, he is the eldest and so our mentor said he looks like the eldest as well. I don't whether it was reluctant to ask to her that do I look like the eldest, too. She replied me that I rather look like the only child than the eldest. And yup, it was like an arrow piercing my heart. I'm the eldest and always proud to be eldest, and always wanted to look like an eldest. And then she explained that I hold responsible for work and work seriously but I look rather cute. It was another arrow. I know the meaning of "cute". Cute = Chubby. It's time to loose some weight now. I dun care much about my look. As long as neat and clean is really good enough for me. I can't just take some compliment, could I? Probably it is stupid of me to start with. Hmmm... perhaps I shouldn't have asked. Others might think "Oh, she wanna be named as cute and so she asked". I dun want that. I dun want other to think negatively of me. Who does?
Right, it's okay. I'm good. Perhaps,  I shouldn't think too much. Farewell, Nam... Wish you life of happiness and prosperity not to mention Good Luck!

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Haypi Kingdom

I started to play Haypi Kingdom three days ago on my iPhone. It is a tactic game and I have chance to interact with people all around the world which is great. When I was a newbie, they helped me with that. I am still a newbie but just upgraded to 1st civilian. I'm trying hard to be able to upgrade to 3rd baron. I'm in the top 1 alliance which is "DamNation" in Sever 42. I purposely join the top one so that I can push myself. They eliminate those with low prestige. If I dun wanna be eliminated, I gotta push myself hard. At the mean time, I think why not i create myself a alliance. No, I have no time. I dun want to waste all my free time on this game. ya... this is just a game. No way going serious.

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Memories

Reminiscences will be a better word. Anyway, I had dinner (Actually, I watched them eat :P) with my ex-Project Sup and ex-Projectmates. We compared about last year group and this year group performances. Alright, I missed out one. I was involved in Singapore Robotic Games (SRG) 2009 and 2010. I participated actively in 2010 as it was my final year project. Yup, NYP achieved not only Gold metal but Silver, Bronze… in fact, NYP ranked 1 to 8 for Legged Robot Marathon Race. Cool, huh (o^^o). I was so nervous at that time. I could not bring myself to the ring. In the third match, I was in the ring, I made a mistake by catching the robot without finishing 6 laps. Boom… I was doomed (>!<), I could not forgive myself for doing so. One of the lecturers outside the ring even asked me to calm down saying "Relax… everything is doing fine. Don't force yourself. And don't worry so much", like that. Why can't I calm myself down??! From that moment onwards, I told my partner that "I would not be in the ring anymore. Please run my robot". I was handling 3 robots. Eventually I have to be in the ring for three times. My first was doomed in this manner, who is going to run my other two robots? Well… my partners herself had robots to run. She can't handle mine. By then, I asked juniors. 3 of them will be handling one robot. And so they agreed with one condition, I had to be in the ring, not handling robot but as accompany. I had no choice, hadn't I? So, I was there. First half of the game was done, I was exhausted. I can't help but resting my head on one of the chairs while sitting on the ground and sleep. Our advisor patting me (she likes to pat other no matter which gender is it). The judges were discussing and calculating for the next round. One of them even told to our advisor that my energy seemed to be drained. (I heard that before I fall asleep,.. of course which lead to our advisor pat me harder =.=''' ) And guess what… All our competitors were eliminated. I was awaked by joyful hooray. I was overjoyed too. I became lively after that again. The rest of the game will be NYP vs NYP. No competitor! But I still have phobia to get into the ring. Two of my robots have 2 places out of 8. Our advisor told me to just treat as we were having practice in our own lab which calmed me down a bit. Hence I run my robots with doki doki feeling. Well, SRG 2010 was over. I was in the list for Gold Metal and Bronze Metal list. Hooray!!! O(≧∇≦)O

Ok, back to the PRESENT. Where was I… erm, yup. We were having dinner and talking about how I was nervous that time. I can laugh out about it now. I'm so embarrassed. We realized that our group is much more unite than this year group. We have very little man power yet we tried our very best, cooperating. I don't much about this year group as I don't visit my old lab that often. I heard all that from my partner (now advisor). She complained pretty much. I hope NYP will score lots of medals this year again.

http://www.nyp.edu.sg/SEG/seg_achievements_roboticsgames.html


 

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Happy 2011

Happy new year, huh??? too late to say though... 
I wanted to say that on 01.01.11, but I was busy with other matters. Probably I forgot to blog. :P Alright, it's only 3rd day of 2011. It is still new!!! So, Happy New Year to everyone out there. Hope to bring us better year. We all hope that every year, don't we? I do, too. I feel like year after year is deteriorating. I dun want that. Most importantly I want to bring a better happiness to my family. Spending more time with them. I'm trying so hard to bring us closer. We might far apart but our hearts are close. But I prefer to stay closer as well. I will make it happen one day. Therefore, 2011, please grant a better luck to me :D
New year 2011




I got that from the web. Wish in advance for lunar new year too :)

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